remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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