I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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