Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
