just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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