it's not cheating when I paid for it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.