I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...