Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?