if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.