I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
