omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
