That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize