when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
