I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
