Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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