I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
