if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
