ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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