I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
