I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize