Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
