You really coming over, don't trick.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
