i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
