Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
