if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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