New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
