it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize