he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
