I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
