just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
