at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
