1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
