That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize