Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize