is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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