found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I need moral support for this bender
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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