a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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