as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
