You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
