Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
