I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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