He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
