I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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