You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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