We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO