I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
