Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.

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  (214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had. (972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/y4qf
  Replies (13) Good night (2306) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?

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  (614): Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party? http://tfl.nu/rikb
  Replies (52) Good night (12860) Bad night (820)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..

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  (816): just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist.. http://tfl.nu/9c4j
  Replies (48) Good night (1097) Bad night (3765)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

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  (660): We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out http://tfl.nu/p80s
  Replies (3) Good night (5314) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy

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  (312): I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy http://tfl.nu/tu8r
  Replies (7) Good night (2876) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3190) Bad night (1915)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.

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  (504): Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me. http://tfl.nu/ogbu
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (1631)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.

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  (314): Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good. http://tfl.nu/kvkg
  Replies (12) Good night (3254) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.

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  (715): I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa. http://tfl.nu/2ols
  Replies (2) Good night (1495) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

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  (612): Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here" http://tfl.nu/wz3j
  Replies (1) Good night (1315) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.

  (347): View more from New York

  Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.

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  (989): I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee. (347): Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly. http://tfl.nu/n2ti
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.

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  (914): Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever. http://tfl.nu/0i96
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out

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  (440): so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out http://tfl.nu/ke1e
  Replies (0) Good night (230) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.

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  (248): Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad. http://tfl.nu/51dc
  Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands

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  (440): If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands http://tfl.nu/oo81
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (230)

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