ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last

  Fav 34 1755 5747

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.

  Fav 34 9797 1359

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

  Fav 31 11017 2097

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

  Fav 15 3650 869

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

  Fav 8 5569 1200

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

  Fav 25 9345 1823

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

  Fav 7 2616 1113

  share tweet
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

  Fav 6 2444 890

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.

  Fav 15 4070 956

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.

  Fav 10 1451 847

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea

  Fav 6 866 1987

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet

  Fav 6 607 753

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.

  Fav 0 692 496

  share tweet
  

• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?

  Fav 4 399 277

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..

  Fav 3 86 107

  share tweet
  

Randomize