ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?