Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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(256): View more from Alabama

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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(916): View more from California

craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

What did you cook with whisky?

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We started a fire.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?

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(904): View more from Florida

All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!

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(772): View more from Florida

She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?

(845): View more from New York

Hahah good point

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(510): View more from California

I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.

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