i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
