pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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