The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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