I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
