btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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