weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
