and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
