Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
