I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
