Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
