Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize