belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
